It was one of those quiet Sunday afternoons. I’d stepped outside to enjoy the breeze, sprawled on the old plastic chair outside my bedsitter, just breathing. No deadlines. No rush. Just peace.

That’s when my neighbour strolled by and decided to sit with me. We started talking about random things—men, food, even church. Then, out of the blue, the topic turned to “tradition.”

“You mean… you’re not circumcised?” she gasped, her eyes wide as plates, her mouth slightly open as though words had jammed at the back of her throat.

She gawked. No, she stammered, struggling to string a full sentence together. “In our culture, women like you are looked down upon,” she finally let out, still eyeing me like I’d just confessed to being an alien.

I laughed. Not because it was funny, but because it was absurd. Why should I be viewed as “less woman” for keeping my body whole? I wasn’t even angry. Just exhausted. Exhausted by the idea that a woman’s morality, worth—even her future—is judged by the presence or absence of a piece of flesh!

Why Is Promiscuity Always Tied to Women?

Let’s talk about it! Why is prostitution always linked to women? Are all promiscuous women lesbians? 

Men roam freely, praised for “having options,” while women are shamed for the same desires. The double standard is suffocating. Do we ever stop to ask why? Or have we been too conditioned to notice that the shame is one-sided?

The Preacher Who Said Daughters Should Never Leave Home

I once sat in a church service where a preacher, full of “wisdom,” thundered, “Women should stay in their parents' homes until they marry!”

Did he consider the orphan?

Then he blathered on—yes, blathered, for his words were nothing more than hot air—about why women shouldn’t own property before marriage. According to him, such women find it hard to respect and submit to their husbands.

Excuse me?

Since when did submission mean passive silence? Since when did respect mean erasing one’s independence?

And why is lack—yes, poverty or dependence—used as a ruler for measuring humility?

The Power of Living Alone as a Woman

There’s something powerful about a woman living alone. It’s not just about independence—it’s about learning discipline. Learning to budget when no one is watching. Learning to cook when no one is clapping. Paying rent, managing bills, setting routines—these aren’t just survival tactics. They’re life skills.

They teach financial literacy, responsibility, emotional maturity—all of which are free premarital lessons for a successful marriage. So why is it seen as rebellion instead of readiness?

Universities Are Not Exempt – The Rise of Campus Prostitution

Prostitution is rampant, and it’s not confined to backstreets or dark alleys. Walk around any major university and you’ll see it. Young women—bright, ambitious, full of potential—forced into trading their bodies to survive. School fees, rent, basic dignity—it all comes at a price.

So, dear parent, should you “protect” your daughter by making her study from home forever? Or should you prepare her? Talk to her? Teach her how to navigate the world instead of shielding her from it?

Sheltering isn’t saving. It's stunting.

Mothers, We Need to Be Honest

Dear mothers, aunties, sisters—stop painting perfection. The flawless image you present to your daughters is not helpful. It isolates them. Makes them feel ashamed of being human.

They struggle in silence, thinking they’re broken, because they can’t match your silent standard. But here’s the truth: We all made mistakes. Some of us still carry them.

It’s time to talk. Share. Be real. Not everything needs to be a lesson. Sometimes, it just needs to be a confession.

So, Where Do We Go From Here?

If womanhood is about pain, silence, and self-sacrifice, then what are we really passing on?

Let’s question the shame. Let’s rewrite what submission means. Let’s raise daughters who understand their bodies and sons who don’t feel entitled to them.

Because being a woman should never be a sin you spend your life apologizing for.

Related Article: Escaping Oppression: A Heartbreaking Journey of Female Genital Mutilation and Hope